balance by hickoree, on Flickr
i wish this post could be something amazing and beautiful about how i’ve found balance in my life between a mother, a wife, and a designer. unfortunately, i’m not there yet. some days, i feel like i’ll never be there. today is one of those days … and, no, it’s not just because it’s monday.
well, maybe just a little.
anyway. in my mind, i can picture my goal. it’s all laid out before me, and i can easily visualize the path i want my life to be traveling upon. close my eyes and i see it. open them, and i don’t always feel confident i can ever achieve it:
i’d like to be designing for myself, from my house, with our kid(s).
and i want this before we even begin seriously considering smith baby #2.
that’s it. that’s my dream in a nutshell. sure, there’s a few loose ends—making a desk space for myself upstairs in the spare room/nursery, finding hubby a job he loves and gets paid for, affording insurance, quitting my current job once i have enough work to go freelance, etc. those are all complicated things that at once excite me and terrify me at the same time.
so, i’m still standing on the shore, barely getting my toes wet. my life feels out of balance. with a baby in the house, all of my maternal instinct pines for me to be at home (sometimes, so does my husband. he does an amazing job with the baby, but i think we both know some things are just better when Eli has me around). with Justin in school, the burden of income for our little family currently falls on me. both are heavy burdens to bear.
with that said, however, i don’t want to make the impression that we don’t have a decent system going at home. we mostly do. it can get wonky at times. life still feels ungainly and weird, but we’re not hating it. we just both know it’s not where we want to be, even if God has us stuck here for now.
i know it can change.
i know it will change.
i know it will happen as soon as i can.
how do you (or did you) find balance in your life? share your experience and give me some inspiration! i’d love to hear it.
Share your thoughts?